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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23144878">Apathy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbysragna/pseuds/abbysragna'>abbysragna</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Apath [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji is pretty, Akaashi Keiji-centric, Boys Kissing, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Friends to Lovers, I can’t help it, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, No Smut, Not Beta Read, One-Sided Attraction, apathetic akaashi keiji, everyone likes him, for a bit, i used hky to vent again, kinda vent, minor konoha akinori/akaashi keiji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:02:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,379</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23144878</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbysragna/pseuds/abbysragna</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi is apathetic, or so he’s told. Bokuto and the rest of Fukurodani take it upon themselves to show him he isn’t.</p><p> </p><p>one shot i decided to turn into a multi chapter series</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Apath [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>168</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Apathy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>vent time. i try to include music that you can listen to while reading, but i don’t have an audio file of my dad yelling at me so</p><p>https://youtube.com/watch?v=npOd6VKV4iY</p><p>https://youtube.com/watch?v=Rn6Vbj7Pk4Y</p><p>this is as close as it’s gonna get</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Apathy is a bitch. Akaashi learned firsthand that apathy wasn’t the friend he wanted or even needed. Apathy got him in trouble, and kept people away. Apathy was the wall that separated him from his ideal, average high school life.</p><p>- - -</p><p>“Why don’t you smile?”</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>“Do you not care?”</p><p>“I do care.”</p><p>I’m pretty sure I care.</p><p>“You don’t seem like you do.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>Blunt, rude, insensitive. Those three words. They were constantly being used to describe him. And he’d gotten used to ignoring them. His team was good about letting him know that he was plenty expressive. He adored his team. And then there were times when people would call him pretty, attractive, and an angel. He blocked those out as well, hearing enough of that from his team as well, though mostly just his captain.</p><p>His captain made him the most comfortable. Bokuto was loud, obnoxious, and childlike, which wasn’t actually his speed, though he took on Bokuto like he was a challenge ready to be finished. But Koutarou… Koutarou was quiet, calm, reverent. Koutarou took care of Akaashi like a challenge.</p><p>Akaashi would get back from a messy breakup? Koutarou was there to comfort him and keep him company.<br/>Akaashi got out of a relationship that made him unhappy? Bokuto was there to congratulate him and play video games with him.</p><p>And it wasn’t until Akaashi’s third year that he started to treat Bokuto and Koutarou as one entity. He started to when someone questioned why he was expressionly challenged. Akaashi got uncomfortable faster than usual, and thankfully, he could leave it to Bokuto to get him away from the curious albeit unwelcome boy. He was opening his mouth to reply when a loud “hey hey hey!” echoed down the hall. “‘Kaashi! The vending machine is restocked with that tea you like! Let’s go get some!”</p><p>“Sure, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi nodded at the boy, and let himself get lead away. The boy only frowned and shrugged off his lack of response.</p><p>After turning the corner, Bokuto detached his arm from Akaashi’s shoulders. He had a concerned frown working its way onto his face. “Hey, Akaashi,” Akaashi started at the proper pronunciation of his name. “You alright?”</p><p>Akaashi had frowned at the time, confused by how Bokuto had turned to Koutarou so quickly. And right after he realized that Bokuto and Koutarou were one person. And, sure, he’d known all along that his friend was Bokuto Koutarou, but he’d gotten so used to identifying them separately that he forgot that this was still one person. He smiled softly and nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”</p><p>And from then on, it hit him often that they were also a year apart. Which meant that Bokuto would be graduating soon.</p><p>Akaashi liked to think that nothing would ever change with them: they would be spiker and preferred setter. They would be best friends until one of them kicked the bucket first. College would never come along and separate them.</p><p>And yet, time is a mocking mistress. She kept moving, never slowing nor delaying. She was always right on time.</p><p>Bokuto graduates from his fourth year, with a promise to keep in touch with them, and try to stop by and help develop the team, as an alumni’s responsibility. Akaashi didn’t cry. He couldn’t. He greatly wanted to, but he couldn’t muster the appropriate emotions forward. So, he sent off his upperclassmen with a sad smile, and a wave, with a promise of his own to take care of the team as the new captain.</p><p>Bokuto smiles widely- sadly- at him, and drags him into a hug at hearing it.</p><p>- - -</p><p>In the grand scheme of things, he really should have seen this coming. It didn’t take even a week before he was invited to drink over at his upperclassman’s apartment. Sarukui was a godsend when it came to opening one's apartment for a drinking party. But that was most likely because Saru was always down to drink with anyone at any time.</p><p>Akaashi, who has never drunk before because he was underage, was obviously hesitant to drink. Same with Anahori, the setter Akaashi was training personally.</p><p>So, with Konoha’s brilliant- or not, he hasn’t decided yet- idea, they decided to play a game of truth or dare or shots. In hindsight it was obviously a horrible idea, but Akaashi went along with it.</p><p>Konoha sits down after he and Saru has wandered his apartment grabbing blankets and pillows for them to sit on. “Aight y’all-.”</p><p>“Konoha says y’all.”</p><p>“Konoha says y’all.”</p><p>“Konoha says y’all.”</p><p>“Shut up!” Konoha shrieks as Bokuto starts a chain of insults including “y’all.”<br/>Konoha groans. “Okay y’all are the worst. No white-knighting because you guys fuckin’ suck.” He raises his head up to see a group of horrified faces. He grins a bit.</p><p>“Yo, Bo, truth or dare.” Konoha drawled out lazily to start.</p><p>Bokuto stretched and hummed a bit in thought. “Start easy, I guess. Truth.”</p><p>Konoha hums himself, not having expected the answer. “Well, shit. Then,” He groans a bit. “Got one, but you’re gonna hate me. Why didn’t you date anyone in highschool?”</p><p>Bokuto snorts. “No one liked me. Next.”</p><p>Konoha waved his hands, “Hey, hey, no! That’s not true at all! You just blatantly lied on the truth!” Their small table of five laughs. Just three graduated, one fourth year, and one third year drinking.</p><p>Bokuto laughs with them. “Seriously! No one confessed to me other than your asses and those were jokes!”</p><p>Konoha sputters a bit. “Plenty of girls have come to me asking about you, though! You’re really saying to my face that not one of them confessed?”</p><p>Bokuto grunts a bit, scratching his head. “I really have no idea. I don’t think so. Even if I was confessed to, I probably rejected them. The person I was into was dating so I didn’t bother with trying to steal them away or date around in order to forget.” He shrugs a bit, and Konoha grumbles.</p><p>“That was such a grown up answer from you.”</p><p>“You don’t think I can be mature?!”</p><p>“No.</p><p>“Rude!” Bokuto shrieks, the other four laugh, and the game resumes.</p><p>Akaashi is a couple shots in from stupid things like 1) drink out of the toilet, no way in hell. 2) Strip and run down the road, he passed because he knew he could get arrested. 3) Tell us how many people you dated, he had to pass because he’d forgotten.</p><p>Akaashi felt a comfortable buzz fall over him. While the beer didn’t exactly taste good, or even close to good, it numbed his apathy for a short while, so he kept sipping it.</p><p>Anahori was practically blacked out dead thanks to him not having drunk before, nor him having an interesting enough social life for them to find a truth, so he was stuck with stupid dares. Konoha was relentless with his stupid dares, it seems. He was complaining and it was his turn to choose. “Akaashi, truth or dare?”</p><p>Akaashi groans quietly because, of course, the one totally drunk one there would choose him to suffer. “Dare.” He’ll make himself suffer more. Might as well.</p><p>Anahori pouts at him. “Makeout with Konoha for like two minutes as payback for me.”</p><p>The table went quiet, before Saru started hyperventilating laughing. Bokuto laughed albeit a bit hollow. “Hey Hori that’s a bit much, y’know? Akaashi wouldn’t do that- hey ‘Kaash why’re you getting up-? Hey, seriously-?!” His voice continued to rise in pitch as Akaashi stood and walked up to Konoha.</p><p>Akaashi was staring down at Konoha who was red and flailing lamely. “Wait- holy shit- Akaashi. Dude. No joke?! What the fuck, really?!” He broke off into a screech as Akaashi sat in his lap. Bokuto and Sarukui screech as well, though Saru immediately laughs harder. Anahori can be heard in the background chanting “vengeance!”.</p><p>Akaashi draws Konoha's arms around his waist and his face just darkens. Akaashi doesn’t really see why he’s blushing so much, it’s just a dare. He wraps his own arms around Konoha’s neck and looks at Anahori one last time. “Just for you, Hori.” Anahori whoops in victory and starts the timer as Akaashi plants his lips on Konoha’s.</p><p>Akaashi moves his lips against Konoha’s slowly, savoring the feeling of wet skin sliding against another’s. Konoha’s hands tighten on his hips lightly, but still noticeable enough to get Akaashi to shift forward a bit, falling into habit. He opens his mouth as a clear invitation, even though he’s supposed to be avenging Anahori. Konoha takes the invitation timidly, licking at his top lip, before gaining confidence and shoving his tongue in, licking around his mouth. Akaashi whines a bit kissing back with as much heat as Konoha is starting to emit. Konoha’s hands travel up Akaashi’s waist to his back and shoulder, back down to his tailbone and ass, groping lightly. One hand stays on his ass, the other running through his hair, messing it up more than it already was. Akaashi tangles his hands in Konoha’s hair, lightly pulling, before smoothing it over, running his hands through, and repeating. Their wet smacks can hardly be heard over Saru’s shrieking laughter and Anahori’s whoops of victory. The timer goes off, and it’s just loud enough for Akaashi to hear. He immediately stands up and flips off Konoha as well as Anahori. Konoha’s hands are stuck out in front of him, face agape as if he was still in shock.</p><p>Sarukui laughs, gasping for someone to call an ambulance because he can’t breathe, to his words. Bokuto was lying face down grumbling something about “...no dating on the team, no dating in the team, none, no, can’t…”</p><p>Akaashi shrugs off the weird behavior, poking Bokuto’s head a few times. His head turns to the side just enough to see who it is, before he shoots upright at seeing its Akaashi. Messy-haired, spit-slicked lipped, red faced Akaashi. He whines a bit and hugs Akaashi’s legs. “I’m sorry! I wanted to white knight but Konoha said none of it so I couldn't!! I'm so sorry you had to make out with that thing I- ew gross I’m sorry-!” Akaashi stops him by planting a hand over his mouth. Other than his red face, he looks unaffected. “It isn’t your fault, Bokuto-san.”</p><p>He removes his hand and without waiting for an answer takes back his seat between Saru and Anahori. Anahori is studying his face. “Akaashi, you still have some spit on your lips. Yea, that- yea there.”</p><p>Akaashi wipes at his mouth working to get it off. He grunts a bit. “I need to brush my teeth.”</p><p>Anahori studies him still. “Your face is so red, but you’re so calm about this, Akaashi. Why?”</p><p>Akaashi blinks, only just realizing that, yeah, not even he was this apathetic. “I don’t know. Apathy. Plus I’ve done it so many times it's second nature.”</p><p>He hears Saru reviving from his laughter, only to break out again when he catches sight of Konoha still buffering. He chances a look at Bokuto to find that he’s standing and stretching. He catches Akaashi’s stare, nodding his head towards the door, a clear invitation to leave. Akaashi shrugs a bit, standing and grabbing his discarded jacket. Bokuto smiles at the other three. “Hey hey hey, we’re gonna head out before things get worse darewise.”</p><p>Saru waves them off. Akaashi addresses his underclassman. “Anahori, do you need a ride to your place?”</p><p>His head shakes. “I live just around the block. I was gonna get Sarukui-san to take me because we live on the same street.” Saru shoots them all a thumbs up, hooking his free arm around Anahori’s forearm. “I’ve got him. I’ll see you guys some other time.”</p><p>They all decide to head out at the same time. Konoha, who has finally recovered, shows them out. He leans against his doorframe, smirking at them. “So Akaashi, wanna have a round two sometime-?” Akaashi shoves his hand over his mouth. “Never.”</p><p>Konoha whined pitifully, the others laughing a bit. Bokuto wraps his arm around Akaashi’s shoulders with a loud laugh. “Yea, so, Konoha you’re kinda gross.”</p><p>Konoha slams the door in his face with a shriek of, “Rude! Absolutely unnecessarily rude!”</p><p>Bokuto grins slightly down at Akaashi. “So. Shall we go, your drunken majesty?” Akaashi grunts at him. “I’m not nearly that bad. Hori has it worse.”</p><p>Bokuto shrugs. “True, but you’re not exactly walking straight.” Akaashi punches him, getting a loud laugh back. “Ok, well, let me know if you need me to carry you.” He hums in lieu of a response.</p><p>The cold crisp air is enough to start sobering him up. Late September in Tokyo is cold enough, but he isn’t complaining. He loves the cold, loves the snow. Their walk is mostly quiet as Bokuto calmly recites a re-enactment of their party. When he gets to the makeout he pauses, and stops walking for a bit, hands shoved in his pockets. “Hey, Akaashi? Why did you makeout with Konoha? Or even agree to drink in the first place?”</p><p>Akaashi looks at him for a few seconds, turning his attention to the sky. He can’t see the stars. “Same reason why I do most things.”</p><p>Bokuto stares blankly at him. “To forget?”</p><p>Akaashi looks back down at Bokuto, a smile on his face. “Yea. To forget.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>“Dad, can I get a job?”</p><p>“You’re failing two classes, Keiji! You won’t have the time.”</p><p>“I’m not failing.”</p><p>“Keiji, these aren’t A’s. Your grades have to be high nineties, or hundreds all around.”</p><p>“That’s not failing, though.”</p><p>“Don’t you dare talk back to me! How do you expect to get into a good college without all A’s? I busted my ass in highschool to get to where I am now! You have to do the same or you won’t get into that engineering college!”</p><p>I want to be a graphic designer.</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>“Do you even care anymore? Why am I letting you stay after for volleyball when you obviously don’t care about it?”</p><p>That isn’t true.</p><p>“Why don’t you try anymore? You’re throwing away all of your opportunities! All of them! You are blessed to be born when you were! Don’t you fucking dare waste your opportunities! Try harder. Get your physics grade up. They won’t accept you into the engineering program if you don’t.”</p><p>I don’t want to be an aerospace engineer.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“No you aren’t. You couldn’t fucking care less. Why are you so apathetic? You want a job? Don’t even bother. If you get a job you’ll get fired, fail out of your classes, not get into the engineering college I’ve worked so hard to get a good word for you, you’ll waste your time and my time and my money.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Stop saying that without changing your face. I don’t believe you.”</p><p>“Sorry.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>Akaashi shrugs. “It wasn’t anything that important. Just a dispute with my dad.”</p><p>Bokuto frowns at him. “Akaashi this is becoming a regular thing. This is important. Your dad is supposed to support you, not put you down.”</p><p>Akaashi laughs bitterly. “Yea, well, mine doesn’t.”</p><p>Bokuto steps into his personal space, close enough that he can feel his breath on his face. “He should.” Akaashi can hear the desperation in his voice, that’s begging for him to understand that ‘this isn’t family.’ “Akaashi. Tell him. About graphic design.” Akaashi’s throat closes. He’s close to crying now. He only cried around Bokuto, and when they’re talking about his dad. His voice is already hoarse when he responds. “It’s not that easy.”</p><p>Bokuto frowns at him, concern, sympathy, and something else on his face. “Aka-.”</p><p>“It’s not that simple. He wouldn’t yell at me for that. He’d give me the disappointed father lecture. I can’t take that. I can take the yelling. The disappointment hurts a lot more. I- I can’t do that. Bokuto I can't-.” Tears are beginning to dot his eyes. He can feel the burn in his eyes, in his throat, in his chest, everywhere. He only breaks down when he’s with Bokuto, and frankly, it’s a bit of a weird feeling. It feels strange when Bokuto wraps him into a hug, and picks him up, carrying him to Bokuto’s apartment instead of Akaashi’s house.</p><p>Akaashi sniffs where his head is being guided into Bokuto’s shoulder to neck area. “Bokuto, my nose is running and I gotta go home. My dad will-”</p><p>Bokuto runs, sidesteps, jostles him, and basically anything else to jostle him. “Bokuto I’m gonna fall, stop-!”</p><p>“Enough thinking about your shitty old man.” Bokuto lets him lean back, and Akaashi is struck by how intimate the position actually is. “Awkward.”</p><p>Bokuto grins, and Akaashi knows he did it on purpose. “Am I overstepping my boundaries?”</p><p>What.</p><p>Bokuto grins, and pulls him back down, kissing his forehead. “I’m seriously upset that Konoha got to make out with you before me.”</p><p>Akaashi pulls back abruptly and stares at him blankly. His face shoots red. “What was that for?” He grumbles a bit.</p><p>Bokuto laughs quietly when Akaashi doesn’t catch on to what he’s hinting at. “You were never available long enough for me to try and woo you. You’d constantly go guy to guy and I never got my shot at making you happy. But,” He sets Akaashi down and fishes around in his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper. “If you’d give me the chance I can take care of you. I’d like the chance to make you happy.”</p><p>Akaashi takes the paper, that he can now see is an envelope, with shaky hands. “Bokuto-”</p><p>“You don’t have to read them. I wrote them a long time ago when I was so in love with you I thought I’d die. I only have them with me right now because Konoha promised to think up a dare for me that would enable me to confess, but things got a bit out of hand.” Akaashi is positive that his face is red enough to be seen even in the low light of two am. When he opens the envelope he can see that there are- in fact- more than one letter. He looks up at Bokuto almost shyly. He’s grinning at him. “It’s basically all that I wrote about you in those three years that I knew you. I’m sure I’m probably missing one or two or more, but you know much I enjoy writing so I might’ve gotten carried away anyway. If I am missing some it’s fine because those are the really important ones.”</p><p>He did know. He knew better than anyone. He knew that if Bokuto got an injury that would put him out of volleyball indefinitely, that he’d shift to writing.</p><p>Akaashi knows Bokuto. Thought he knew him. He’d missed so much of Bokuto it seems.</p><p>He checks the dates on the letters. September of his first year. His birthday in his first year. New years. Last day of his first year. The other letters follow a similar pattern, though the frequency picks up in the previous year, when Akaashi stopped dating as often. He looks up at Bokuto with tears in his eyes. Bokuto smiles kindly at him.</p><p>“Your first truth. You used past tense. Was that a lie?”</p><p>“No, I was talking about you.” Blunt, straightforward. Bokuto style. “It wasn’t a lie, I did like you. Still do. But it was around the time of your second boyfriend; remember him? You were super happy with him, so I did step back. Then you broke up and it wasn’t pretty, so I decided instead of potentially adding to your stress, that I’d just support you quietly instead.” Akaashi was staring at him shocked. He no longer felt the cold.</p><p>Bokuto shifted from foot to foot. “You don’t have to accept me, I just want you to know I’ll always be here for you, ‘Kaashi! Always have been, always plan to be!” He finishes his bravado with a stupid grin and Akaashi is gone. He pulls Bokuto down an inch or two and kisses him lightly.</p><p>“Please take care of me.”</p><p>Bokuto’s cheeks redden, eyes wide. “Y’know, your face is really expressive. Not apathetic at all.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i vibe w akaashi w having trouble expressing myself</p><p>hope u enjoyed my pain ig</p></blockquote></div></div>
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